The Three Age Groups

Getting old does funny things to a man


Human beings have many arbitrary forms of allegiance one of them is age. It can be so important to an individual’s identity to be different from the other generations that in some circumstances they would be horrified to be even seen in company with them. There are three main age groups.

The young age 0-25: they live in denial about death, are in a constant state of rebellion and discovery and have very little hard work to do, thus their amazing capacity for sitting around taking brain retarding drugs and generally misbehaving. Their main contribution to society comes from this unofficial medical and psychological research.

The workers age 25-65: they are often too busy to think about death because they have to work for material gain to support themselves and the lifestyles of the young and the old. This task is admittedly made slightly easier by the design of making old age a second childhood. If a worker is spoon feeding their child they might as well be spoon feeding their elderly parent at the same time.

The old age 65 and onwards: they do not have to do any work anymore. Nonetheless they are so depressed by what their children have done to the world they created they often look like they would happily fall down and die at any moment and are only staying alive out of pure stubbornness. They are characterized by a belief that society is getting slowly worse and worse, a belief that all stories about the past no matter how obscure or pointless are very interesting and a cast iron refusal to try any new food dishes, especially foreign ones.